I haven’t been sleeping lately. My sleep schedule is all fucked up, my head is all fucked up, and I am almost literally gestating – into what, I don’t know. I feel … a lot of things, almost none of which are the same as a week ago. This is a new brand of volatility, the by-the-week variety that brings with it moments of clarity and peace that seem almost apocryphal, and it has me by its teeth.
I wish I could write about where my head has been the last week but I can’t. No one is served well by the lights except me. And for this morning, in this universe, that will have to do.
I feel something, though. Something old and new, like a god from the earth. I’d like to think I’ll tell her someday, but I think she already knows.