I’m feeling down and shit is starting to sink in a bit.  Not that the plight is dire, just that somewhere an ego is bruised and I wonder if I’m going to make the same choices.  I’m terrified of that. ___ I lost my job in 2010.  Reza was almost four.  It was a particularly […]

I’m going to celebrate something, maybe a bit earlier than I should, but this isn’t like starting the Stanley Cup parade before the season starts or anything. In two weeks, I’ll have been sober 18 months. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not a long time, but, like Sam tells Frodo, ‘one more step, […]

Just when it seemed that the tide wouldn’t stop rising. ___ I don’t quite know how to begin. I had the most amazing and moving experience in recent memory on Wednesday night, completely out of the blue.  Well, at least unexpected, anyway, but I should have known better given the source. I was given an […]

I recognize that I’ve been wallowing a bit.  I need to sit in it.  I’m wrestling with pride (of course) and hope (always) and uncertainty – but I feel rumblings.  I had a conversation with Reza last night that was more a lecture to myself than it was to her:  We have to take responsibility for […]

I’m feeling pretty fucking anxious lately.  Today, just right now, stability eludes me, and I’m worried that even saying it out loud, putting it on paper, would somehow cause backlash or misunderstandings that are completely unmerited.  I’m struggling with limits:  When they’re reached, what that means, where boundaries lie, when self-preservation is invoked and what my own […]

I haven’t been here in months, but it waits patiently.  I always say I need to be better at writing my thoughts down, but it’s become increasingly apparent that I’m so very out of practice, rusty and misaligned. *big deep breath* I’m having a moment today.  It’s been creeping up on me for a few […]

I have to write this here because it’s fucking bursting out of me and I need a way to look it in the eye. I have to do step four now, and I realize it and I’ve avoided it because i’m fucking terrified. I know I’m not supposed to be scared, but the prospect of doing this […]

Each of them posted something on my timeline to get my attention, to say it was ok, to give me that invisible moral support they somehow knew I needed. Fuck, I needed that. Recommend on Facebook Tweet about it Subscribe to the comments on this post Print for later Tell a friend

Every time I log into WP Admin to write a post, which isn’t often lately, I see the button at the bottom of the login screen that says Remember Me.  I chuckle.  I wonder if my website wonders where the hell I’ve been. Certainly not on social media, that’s for sure.  I’ve cut down my […]

Yeah, so, lots of school related posts are coming.  I can feel that shit like my intestines after the holidays. OK, so the first term is scheduled.  English 1011 and a one-week orientation that officially start on Monday of next week, then two classes scheduled to begin in March – another credited ASU-related class and a Geography […]